I never really liked drinking, but I did like going out to clubs and having fun with friends. I enjoyed wine with dinners and sunny patios with a cocktail. Without fail it made me sick. Every time. If I was going out with friends I would assume I would drink enough to have to prepare for a day of recovery. The more pathetic part of this was that this was the case with everyone I went out with. Of course, some stuck to moderation and “felt fine” the next day, but were they?
I stopped drinking alcohol completely about six months ago. I don’t have a “problem” I just don’t like the taste, how it makes me feel and how it makes people behave. What I find interesting is that I’ve noticed how people react to non-drinkers in social situations. I tend to have a club soda with lime to make it look like I’m having a drink just to make them comfortable. If I’m asked, I’m honest and admit I’m not drinking and if pressed some more it seems to turn into a conversation my decision to cut it out entirely. I tend to avoid these situations altogether now, but once in a while, I end up in one which can make it uncomfortable for both drinker and non-drinker.
To be transparent, I ended up in one of those situations a few weeks ago. It was the same story. I was out with friends I hadn’t seen in a while so I decided to “be social” and have a few. I had three drinks and, of course, regretted it. I wasn’t hungover, but I certainly felt the effects the next day. Not a fan.
Over Christmas, colleagues of mine sat around a table, told a story and everyone had a shot. This went on for several rounds. When I refused most were fine, but the leader of the pack pulled me aside to tell me that this is a good way to establish rapport with my peers and not drinking might make them uncomfortable. What are we 15 years old? Is this 1940? I vehemently disagree with this ridiculous, old-world, frat-boy mentality. To be clear I have nothing against the activity, it is completely their decision to take part and I’m more than happy to participate in everything except the consumption. I have fun, make no judgments that and I do see the value and a team enjoying the team, but I do have a problem with pressure being applied to those who didn’t want to participate. The result becomes the exact opposite of the intention. Enjoy the irony, gentlemen.
Avoiding these social rituals along with spending more time with non-judgmental friends–which I do anyway, of course–seems to be the answer. I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind here and I certainly don’t mean to make anyone uncomfortable and I don’t believe anyone intends to do this to me. We are simply living in the culture of alcohol meaning some situations need to be navigated with care. If you ask me my opinion on the topic, now that’s another story.
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This post was originally published on Medium.
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The post Socially Awkward Drinking appeared first on The Good Men Project.